Yeah, so I went through with it in the end:
The more I think about it, the more I question handing that $75 check over to Finance. Even though we are all technically "actives" now and have been initiated as "loyal and true brothers" to the fraternity, I still do not feel like I have connected with anybody on a real level and honestly wonder whether anybody would have noticed if I had just decided not to show up for activation without telling anybody in advance.
While I was in the elevator going down from my sixth floor dorm for activation, the elevator made a stop on the fourth floor and a fellow pledge walked in. I greeted him and expressed my surprise to learn that he also lived in my building, but he did not have much to say in response. He whipped out his phone and called somebody else in the fraternity and said, very loudly and clearly, "Yeah, I am in the elevator going down right now. There's another [insert fraternity name here] person in here with me too..."
So he did not even know my name.
"Brotherhood" and being "one cohesive unit," my ass.
Our pledge trainer made another sappy speech before the ceremony and instead of blindly taking his empty words at face value like I had throughout the entire pledging process, I couldn't help but roll my eyes a little at how untrue and idealistic some of his statements were. There was also a weird guy leaping wildly across library walk in the background as our PT embarked his final words of congratulations and wisdom on our pledge class, and the ridiculousness of the juxtaposition of the two situations almost made me burst out in a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
Good thing I didn't because you know, that would have been quite inappropriate.
It was a "sacred" ceremony after all.
Indifference and scorn are not exactly the strongest building blocks for a lasting foundation of "brotherhood."
But I guess this is it.
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