One Cohesive Unit

Before pledge retreat, the idea of depledging was definitely on my mind. I had so many apprehensions about pledging coming into it, and I just wasn't sure if I was ready to break out of my familiar routines and step outside of my comfort zone to embrace the fraternity.

As we were all disassembling our tents with our tent-mates in the pouring rain at the end of retreat, I still had pretty mixed feelings about all the things that had happened over the weekend. However, on the car ride back to campus, my super cute driver asked us what we thought of retreat and for some strange reason my voice was the first to respond to her question.

"I had a lot of fun and retreat made me feel more like I was part of the fraternity and I like being part of it a lot more now," I said.

At the time I felt like I was lying when I said those words because I was soaking wet, felt like absolute shit and honestly did not know if I really had fun at retreat, but as strange as it may sound, the moment those words came out of my mouth, I started believing what I had said.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how amazing retreat really was.

The actives and our PTA worked so hard to plan and execute all the activities we did this weekend, and I am really grateful for all of their hard work and support throughout the entire experience.

The first games we played in the dark on our first night at the campsite were fun, but they were nothing compared to the hardcore activities planned for our second day at the camp.

My favorite game on the first night was probably "Huggie Bears" because I was one of the winners! Who knew a hugging game could get SO INTENSE?!

The second day was jam-packed with activities and we didn't get to sleep until 4:30 am; even eating breakfast at 7:30 am turned into a bonding activity that taught our class an important lesson.

(All time-telling devices were prohibited and I only found out the times after retreat from my driver.)

The after-lunch activity was the ultimate traditional retreat challenge that all pledges of the fraternity had to experience; it took our class seven hours and forty minutes to complete the challenge and we weren't allowed to eat dinner until it was over.

My driver found me during lunch and told me to wear WARM clothes for the activity and several people came up to me and asked me if I was wearing enough layers; I had on a fleece, a sweatshirt, a down vest and a wool scarf, so I didn't think I could possibly put on any more clothes.

Boy, was I wrong.

A few more pairs of socks and maybe another sweatshirt and another pair of pants would have been nice.

Those seven hours and forty minutes were the most mentally and physically grueling seven hours and forty minutes I have experienced in my entire life.

I was violently shivering the entire time. I couldn't feel my toes at all and it was excruciatingly painful when I tried to wiggle them. I was starving and completely dehydrated at the same time. I was also worried and scared out of my wits about the safety of my fellow pledge brothers who attempted several risky stunts, especially when one of them tumbled headfirst toward the ground from about six feet in the air and landed on his jaw.

Even when the guys (who all became superheros in my eyes after that night) figured out a feasible plan of action, I was very scared and nervous about what would happen when my turn came; people were discussing tucking and rolling techniques and what to do if something went wrong and thoughts of falling to the ground scared the shit out of me.

I inched toward the front lines a couple of times, but always chickened out at the last minute and shuffled back to the back of our confinement zone. After the big discouraging blow that had everyone doubting our strategy, we were all extremely frustrated; I curled up into a ball on the dirt in the back and sat there shivering by myself, feeling completely dejected and depressed.

It didn't help that it was pitch black out and I was freezing.

I wanted to cry because I was so cold and so scared about what I had to eventually do.

But the guys never gave up hope, and before long, they were on a roll again.

One girl (who, I am proud to say, is now Madame President of our class) in particular stood out by being especially encouraging and supportive; I seriously do not think I could have survived the night without her words of comfort. Even though she was very nervous about the task too, she stayed positive and strong and cheered everyone on; she eventually went over herself and when she was sent back, she excitedly came up to all of the scared girls standing in the back and told us all how it was nothing to be scared of at all because all the guys "literally have your backs."

I was still very, very scared, but she convinced me to do it.

So I got in line, and soon it was my turn.

I held my breath, crossed my arms, leaned back, closed my eyes and was effortlessly lifted high up in the air by our super strong superheros on the front line.

Even though I was lifted about six feet in the air, I felt completely supported and safe 100% of the way over; the guys in our class are seriously superheros.

(How many times have I used "superhero" to describe my pledge brothers? I don't like sounding repetitive, but that is the only word I can think of to sum up their awesomeness.)

When I landed on the other side, I instantly felt warmer and happier; I spent the next hour or two yelling and cheering for everybody else, and before we knew it, there was only one person left on the other side.

We were all extremely jubilant and excited - we were SO CLOSE to reaching our goal.

Then we failed.

Again.

And again.

And again.

It probably took us at least two or three hours to figure out how to get the last person over. The longer it took, the colder, hungrier, and more discouraged we all felt, but once again, the guys on the front line never gave up hope.

After several spectacularly unsuccessful attempts, our PT came to us and asked us if we wanted to give up and go eat dinner back at the campsite. Even though I was freezing, starving, dehydrated, and depressed, I immediately yelled, "NO!" without even thinking about it along with the rest of my class.

We all knew in our hearts that we couldn't give up. We were "one cohesive unit," after all.

It was a good thing we didn't give up because we did it in the end.

We really did it.

I still cannot believe that we managed to do what we did; the guys are freaking superheros!

(Again!)

When our PT stood in front of us and gave a little speech about how proud he was of what our class accomplished, my eyes immediately began to tear up and soon I was silently bawling my eyes out. All of the strong emotions I experienced that night bubbled over and I just could not stop myself from crying.

Good thing it was pitch black outside.

Even though I was very happy that we completed the challenge, I was so hungry and exhausted by the time we got back to camp that all I wanted to do was crawl into my sleeping bag and sleep. But I couldn't do that - we had a LONG night ahead of us, and I grew more irritated and antisocial as the night dragged on.

Then it started raining.

And our tent leaked and my stuff got completely soaked.

We had a few more concluding activities that morning before we left the campsite, and they were all very eye-opening.

After I got back to campus, took off all of my soaking wet clothes, and hopped in the shower with steaming hot water on at full blast (I had forgotten how amazing HOT water felt), I realized just how out-of-this-world my retreat experiences were.

Like our PT said during one of his speeches, we may have felt like shit, but we all got through it together as a class.

We are truly ONE COHESIVE UNIT and we are never going to forget that.

I couldn't be prouder of our class and everything we accomplished.

♥