What Did I Ever Do to Deserve This? I RECYCLE!

Since I have been so studiously preparing for finals this weekend, more often than not, I was completely surrounded by books, readers, printed articles, and various other paper products designed to aid in the studying process.

Being in such close proximity with such an unusually large number of paper products resulted in an exponential explosion in the inherent risks associated with all-things-paper - namely, PAPER CUTS.

Studying is dangerous, I kid you not.

I don't know if they (the evil paper manufacturers) are making paper edges more razor-sharp nowadays or what, but after three nights of intense studying, both of my hands are covered with minor cuts and scrapes that can all be attributed to the mountains of books and papers strewn across my desk.

I even have a paper cut across the center of my left palm.

If the excruciating sting of liquids coming into contact with the "invisible" tears on the surface of my skin is not convincing enough to rile you up about the physical risks that come with excessive studying, let my newly blood-stained political science reader be a testament to the possible horrors.

That's right - blood-stained reader.

Just as I began the last body paragraph of my political science paper on vegetarianism, I innocently reached over to the reader sitting on my desk in search of a quote I had highlighted in the article about Martin Luther King Jr., and lo and behold, the bottom of the page I was attempting to turn suddenly went on the offensive and somehow managed to come into contact with my left thumb, slicing it right open.

I could literally feel the edge of the paper slicing through the layers of skin on the side of my my thumb.

The next thing I knew, warm blood was beginning to trickle down the side of my hand and splash onto the pages of my open reader.

Luckily, being quite prone to freak accidents like these (the scar from when I somehow managed to cut my leg so badly on the chair I was leaning against in the Library of Congress that blood was literally gushing down my leg is still clearly visible on my right leg), I always keep a supply of bandages nearby.


Unfortunately, the place on my thumb where the sharp edge of my political science reader had slashed through my skin was awkward to bandage, so I was left with a weird cat-like pointy-ness on the sides of my left thumb that made typing efficiently quite difficult to do.


In between all the hoopla that my latest (and most dramatic) run-in with evil-minded paper products created, I completely lost my train of thought for the last body paragraph about MLK and I no longer remember the connection I was about to make between his theories of resistance and vegetarianism.

There was only one body paragraph and a conclusion left before I could celebrate, and I am now completely stuck.

That's just fan-freakin'-tastic.

Damn you, paper cuts!

Why are you out to ruin my life?